We talk about what the Depp-Heard saga taught us, why girls love teen heartthrobs, and how women's empowerment means owning their behavior. Also: Sarah celebrates a milestone, Nancy needs a new TV fix
This is going to seem like a strange comment. My world just came crashing down around me. My girlfriend of 13 years who I live with just told me it was over. She was my whole world. I want to go get blind drunk and forget about the world. But I don’t want to. I want throw up. All of my friends and family are her friends and family. Is it bizarre to most this here. I’m sure it is. Things are just so dark right now. I can’t see a way forward. I’m embarrassed for my kids to know. For anyone I know to know. Forgive this strange posting. But this little Smoke ‘em Community feels like an extended family.
A sincere, heartfelt thank you to Nancy and Sarah for kind words on a very difficult day for me. Perhaps one of the most difficult of my life. Their few words of kindness and encouragement gave me a bit of shelter from this storm today. Thank you for this community and for all you share with us.
Speaking of pioneer stories, has anyone read “The Indifferent Stars Above”? Its about the donor party’s tragic journey west. Their culture was so different. Individualistic in unexpected ways. When they got snow bound, the families did not pool their resources. Each family was responsible for itself. But they would sell food to each other on credit. Great read.
Happy Anniversary Sarah! Congratulations on 12 years! Because of your D/H piece, I decided to order your book “Blackout”. I know what it’s like to seek oblivion and I’m interested in your take on it. You brought me to tears when you began to talk about missing alcohol and your love of it. “Time takes time” may sound trite but it’s absolutely true. One day i realized I didn’t miss it at all, much in the same way I no longer missed a long gone lover who dumped me. I realized I had forgiven them, and in turn, myself.
Happy sobriety birthday Sarah! Love you both so much!! When you do the Q&A episode can you please talk about why Sarah is still single?!! I want her to find love so badly - she’s my girl crush and I know that someone is out there perfect for her - he’s going to have to be pretty damn special though bc she’s a CATCH!!
Feels like a strange thing to say in the comment section for a podcast, but it almost feels like I found this podcast for a reason two months ago. Like someone knew I would need it. And I’m not new age or religious in the least and maybe it’s just my being on shaky ground right now... but your kindness touched me and got me through a horrible day and night yesterday. Grateful for the small blessings.
This is when I'll tell you that I read Blackout in a single sitting on a spring afternoon in 2016, while sitting on a park bench and sort of glancing up every now and then to make sure my kids weren't killing themselves on that tall spinny thing (they survived). Until I read Blackout, I had not made the very obvious connection between my shyness/introversion/whatever you want to call it and my drinking. I also had not really considered that my life might get better if I stopped. Reading Blackout was the beginning of the end of my drinking, and not drinking has, you guessed it, made my life better. Much, much better. Thank you, Sarah. And congratulations on 12 years. Just wonderful.
I love having the two of you along on my morning walks. Sarah, really appreciate your heartfelt words about your 12 year anniversary, so well said. Nancy, I started rewatching "Mad Men" recently as well; just a few episodes in but I find I've forgotten much of it. We'll see how far I get.
Paused the episode to chime in on the pretty boy convo. Oh, I so relate (I'm just a few years older than Sarah). The men who terrified me? Gene Simmons, Rick James, Mick Jagger. My number one adolescent crush? Boy George. It doesn't get much prettier and less threatening than that. xo
Something I’ve learned about myself is that I’m more motivated to spend my money supporting good journalism than most other non-essential goods. And Substack has made it so damn easy to do. I love that I got in on the ground floor of your endeavor, and I look forward to seeing what this podcast and community becomes.
This is going to seem like a strange comment. My world just came crashing down around me. My girlfriend of 13 years who I live with just told me it was over. She was my whole world. I want to go get blind drunk and forget about the world. But I don’t want to. I want throw up. All of my friends and family are her friends and family. Is it bizarre to most this here. I’m sure it is. Things are just so dark right now. I can’t see a way forward. I’m embarrassed for my kids to know. For anyone I know to know. Forgive this strange posting. But this little Smoke ‘em Community feels like an extended family.
A sincere, heartfelt thank you to Nancy and Sarah for kind words on a very difficult day for me. Perhaps one of the most difficult of my life. Their few words of kindness and encouragement gave me a bit of shelter from this storm today. Thank you for this community and for all you share with us.
Speaking of pioneer stories, has anyone read “The Indifferent Stars Above”? Its about the donor party’s tragic journey west. Their culture was so different. Individualistic in unexpected ways. When they got snow bound, the families did not pool their resources. Each family was responsible for itself. But they would sell food to each other on credit. Great read.
Happy Anniversary Sarah! Congratulations on 12 years! Because of your D/H piece, I decided to order your book “Blackout”. I know what it’s like to seek oblivion and I’m interested in your take on it. You brought me to tears when you began to talk about missing alcohol and your love of it. “Time takes time” may sound trite but it’s absolutely true. One day i realized I didn’t miss it at all, much in the same way I no longer missed a long gone lover who dumped me. I realized I had forgiven them, and in turn, myself.
Happy sobriety birthday Sarah! Love you both so much!! When you do the Q&A episode can you please talk about why Sarah is still single?!! I want her to find love so badly - she’s my girl crush and I know that someone is out there perfect for her - he’s going to have to be pretty damn special though bc she’s a CATCH!!
Mary Gaitskill started a substack called Out Of It. If you ever invite guests make her one of the first, please.
Feels like a strange thing to say in the comment section for a podcast, but it almost feels like I found this podcast for a reason two months ago. Like someone knew I would need it. And I’m not new age or religious in the least and maybe it’s just my being on shaky ground right now... but your kindness touched me and got me through a horrible day and night yesterday. Grateful for the small blessings.
Came back to say happy birthday, Sarah.
This is when I'll tell you that I read Blackout in a single sitting on a spring afternoon in 2016, while sitting on a park bench and sort of glancing up every now and then to make sure my kids weren't killing themselves on that tall spinny thing (they survived). Until I read Blackout, I had not made the very obvious connection between my shyness/introversion/whatever you want to call it and my drinking. I also had not really considered that my life might get better if I stopped. Reading Blackout was the beginning of the end of my drinking, and not drinking has, you guessed it, made my life better. Much, much better. Thank you, Sarah. And congratulations on 12 years. Just wonderful.
Try Station 11 if you liked The Leftovers and Yellowstone is a must watch absolutely beautiful and fun.
Excellent pod episode! And articles !
How many episodes of "The Deep End" are there? I see 4 on Hulu, but when I Google it I see a lot more...?
I love having the two of you along on my morning walks. Sarah, really appreciate your heartfelt words about your 12 year anniversary, so well said. Nancy, I started rewatching "Mad Men" recently as well; just a few episodes in but I find I've forgotten much of it. We'll see how far I get.
Paused the episode to chime in on the pretty boy convo. Oh, I so relate (I'm just a few years older than Sarah). The men who terrified me? Gene Simmons, Rick James, Mick Jagger. My number one adolescent crush? Boy George. It doesn't get much prettier and less threatening than that. xo
Something I’ve learned about myself is that I’m more motivated to spend my money supporting good journalism than most other non-essential goods. And Substack has made it so damn easy to do. I love that I got in on the ground floor of your endeavor, and I look forward to seeing what this podcast and community becomes.
The earth continues to turn, this is inevitable, so yes things will change. And why not for the better?
Only 4. Alas.
May there be a post- Depp-Heard world! xx