A cancelled teen prompts backlash on Twitter, but Nancy and Sarah see a cautionary tale of our current bloodlust. Also: why feminism is falling out of favor, online dating, and the magic of popsicles
I would 100% wear a “this is not what a feminist looks like” shirt. I’ve always had trouble connecting to the term or the larger, fuzzy cause.
Separately, my husband, who doesn’t listen to this podcast but does listen to me talking about this podcast, said he’d absolutely wear a “hot for due process” shirt.
Re Cancelled at 17, in the 1970s when I was a teen, there were conventional kids and there were the freaks, the outcasts. A proportion of these in the 1970s would be gay, but now? Everyone and their second cousin is queer. So where are the freaks? They’re in the library with Diego and they’ll be the original thinkers and iconoclasts
A quick note from the Show Notes -- watched "Broadcast News" this evening for the first time in maybe 30 years? Really good, so thanks for the reference. That film holds up very well for the current day. And oh, the crying ....
Wallace is a handsome devil! Please use my subscription fee to have Nancy bake him some Tuna pie ;)
Like Nancy said I n my circles Tinder was for people looking for hookups or booty calls and if you were trying to actually date you went on eharmony or Match. Maybe a regional difference?
Tinder was absolutely introduced as a hookup app, that was part of its appeal, but like any app its function and use changed as millions of people came on board, because it was the latest technology. It's kind of like saying Facebook is for family pictures. Sure, it is, but it's very hard to generalize about what millions of people are doing with any one technology. I've known long-term couples who met on Tinder, and women who only hooked up on Bumble, all of which goes to a larger discussion about whether we actually want what we say we want. But no, it's not a regional difference so much as the distance between label and application, and also, I've thought way too much about this. -- SH
I am so grateful for your wit and wisdom, Nancy and Sarah. Laughing and crying along with you, I always feel like I am with a long lost friend I have never met. This episode was no exception.
I could only get halfway through the NY Mag article because I couldn’t stomach the cruelty and cowardice. Of course what he did was beyond shitty, but does this kid (does ANYONE?!) deserve to be mentally and emotionally stoned to death repeatedly for being a dumbass once? For a generation of kids that profess to be allies, upstanders, and righteous equity focused humanitarians….Where the fuck is the humanity!?!?! ((( popping tranquilizer )))
When I was in high school, a girl had scrawled hundreds (and I mean hundreds) of insults about me on the girls bathroom wall. I was a whore. I fucked 3 guys. I bled green when I had my period. I was a cunt.
At the time, I felt so utterly violated and terrified, as though this person had written what everyone thought of me. I cannot fathom the level of devastation I would feel being shunned on a universal scale, that anyone who spoke to me would also be tainted and rejected. This is next level cruelty.
As for the F word…feminism. I was high five-ing you both telepathically on every single point you made. Friends of mine with teenaged daughters do not consider themselves feminists. Why? Because it *excludes* trans women. Sigh.
So much more to say, but I’ll get off my soapbox. Had to send you both a whole lotta love and appreciation for all you do!
Your podcast is excellent I have enjoyed everyone and my hope is that maybe you would go 2 hours for purely selfish reasons my weekly long run is 2 hours. Maybe folks questioning feminism is a good thing as younger women must not feel they are encountering barriers to what they want. And old ladies like me don't need to remind them of how things used to be as it does not have any relevance in their lives as least that's what I hope.
But I would like to comment that there used to be a way to handle men's unwanted advances that did not cause discomfort for all involved or require you to become a victim if you have agency you can always thwart and advance laughter. I am not advocating putting up with an assault but a silly request that Nancy got from her co-worker she did what worked for her and I bet the man never asked again. And kindness is always the way to go.
Thank-you and can't wait to read and listen to you ladies!!
Did y'all listen to the Blocked and Reported primo episode about when Nancy Joe Sales went on Femsplainer to discuss using dating sites? Such a good episode - I wonder if the original podcast exists given the host and Nancy Jo get into it.
Also, if you ever want to hear real horror stories about dating sites, ask a gay man about Grindr and have him promise to tell you the truth about what it's like. It's the Wild West y'all.
OMG, "Sarah Bernhardt "...My mom used to use the name if we were being overdramatic.🙄 [She also used the expression "...dressed up like Esther's pet horse"--do you guys know that (not very kind) expression? 😡]
Whoop! Room for us all at the party!
I would 100% wear a “this is not what a feminist looks like” shirt. I’ve always had trouble connecting to the term or the larger, fuzzy cause.
Separately, my husband, who doesn’t listen to this podcast but does listen to me talking about this podcast, said he’d absolutely wear a “hot for due process” shirt.
Smoke 'Em now pushing Blocked and Reported and Fifth off my must-listen first list.
IMHO Sarah stole the show during her cameo on Fifth!
Re Cancelled at 17, in the 1970s when I was a teen, there were conventional kids and there were the freaks, the outcasts. A proportion of these in the 1970s would be gay, but now? Everyone and their second cousin is queer. So where are the freaks? They’re in the library with Diego and they’ll be the original thinkers and iconoclasts
Fully support the paywall. Make these freeloaders pony up.
Good morning Smoke 'Em and thank you for this podcast! This podcast was 4.79 miles long, a very fine distance. Your mileage may vary.
A quick note from the Show Notes -- watched "Broadcast News" this evening for the first time in maybe 30 years? Really good, so thanks for the reference. That film holds up very well for the current day. And oh, the crying ....
Wallace is a handsome devil! Please use my subscription fee to have Nancy bake him some Tuna pie ;)
Like Nancy said I n my circles Tinder was for people looking for hookups or booty calls and if you were trying to actually date you went on eharmony or Match. Maybe a regional difference?
Tinder was absolutely introduced as a hookup app, that was part of its appeal, but like any app its function and use changed as millions of people came on board, because it was the latest technology. It's kind of like saying Facebook is for family pictures. Sure, it is, but it's very hard to generalize about what millions of people are doing with any one technology. I've known long-term couples who met on Tinder, and women who only hooked up on Bumble, all of which goes to a larger discussion about whether we actually want what we say we want. But no, it's not a regional difference so much as the distance between label and application, and also, I've thought way too much about this. -- SH
Oh and thank you for your attention to Wallace. He's a looker. -- SH
I am so grateful for your wit and wisdom, Nancy and Sarah. Laughing and crying along with you, I always feel like I am with a long lost friend I have never met. This episode was no exception.
I could only get halfway through the NY Mag article because I couldn’t stomach the cruelty and cowardice. Of course what he did was beyond shitty, but does this kid (does ANYONE?!) deserve to be mentally and emotionally stoned to death repeatedly for being a dumbass once? For a generation of kids that profess to be allies, upstanders, and righteous equity focused humanitarians….Where the fuck is the humanity!?!?! ((( popping tranquilizer )))
When I was in high school, a girl had scrawled hundreds (and I mean hundreds) of insults about me on the girls bathroom wall. I was a whore. I fucked 3 guys. I bled green when I had my period. I was a cunt.
At the time, I felt so utterly violated and terrified, as though this person had written what everyone thought of me. I cannot fathom the level of devastation I would feel being shunned on a universal scale, that anyone who spoke to me would also be tainted and rejected. This is next level cruelty.
As for the F word…feminism. I was high five-ing you both telepathically on every single point you made. Friends of mine with teenaged daughters do not consider themselves feminists. Why? Because it *excludes* trans women. Sigh.
So much more to say, but I’ll get off my soapbox. Had to send you both a whole lotta love and appreciation for all you do!
Also, premium content: Nancy’s baking recipes
Ladies,
Your podcast is excellent I have enjoyed everyone and my hope is that maybe you would go 2 hours for purely selfish reasons my weekly long run is 2 hours. Maybe folks questioning feminism is a good thing as younger women must not feel they are encountering barriers to what they want. And old ladies like me don't need to remind them of how things used to be as it does not have any relevance in their lives as least that's what I hope.
But I would like to comment that there used to be a way to handle men's unwanted advances that did not cause discomfort for all involved or require you to become a victim if you have agency you can always thwart and advance laughter. I am not advocating putting up with an assault but a silly request that Nancy got from her co-worker she did what worked for her and I bet the man never asked again. And kindness is always the way to go.
Thank-you and can't wait to read and listen to you ladies!!
Did y'all listen to the Blocked and Reported primo episode about when Nancy Joe Sales went on Femsplainer to discuss using dating sites? Such a good episode - I wonder if the original podcast exists given the host and Nancy Jo get into it.
Also, if you ever want to hear real horror stories about dating sites, ask a gay man about Grindr and have him promise to tell you the truth about what it's like. It's the Wild West y'all.
Wallace!
OMG, "Sarah Bernhardt "...My mom used to use the name if we were being overdramatic.🙄 [She also used the expression "...dressed up like Esther's pet horse"--do you guys know that (not very kind) expression? 😡]