The trial was supposed to be about defamation. It became a study of abuse -- between spouses, between fans and celebrities, and between the media and the people who consume it
Thank you! Meghan and I just re-recorded *another* episode of "The Unspeakable" together, which should be posting in about a week or so. I love trying to make sense of the world with her. -- SH
I'd have known next to nothing about Depp-Heard except for the "Smoke 'em" episodes, some of them heard more than once. And as I started to read this (50 minute read says Substack!) I wondered what I'd learn that I didn't already know. Well. This is such a good distillation of your coverage and discussion, with deep dives into back stories that were hinted at in the podcasts. So many good lines; an early one stood out for me:
-- “You can’t say that” tends to lay the tracks for “People are going to say that, with delight.”
I'm sure you'll discuss this piece on a future podcast. This deserves to be read widely. So well done, thank you.
“...the jury read what had to be the worst review of her life.” This felt like a obvious but still classically clever journalist line. If that makes sense.
“Her empowerment was ghostwritten.” Love this line. Captures the sad irony of ACLU writing that op-ed.
This piece does a fantastic job of capturing the deep and vast complexity of everything the Heard/Depp reflects about society right now. Celebrity worship, the influence of trauma (sorry Nancy) on how we choose lovers, the often over correcting blindness of #MeToo (not to mention other woke campaigns), and the inability to give grace to the oh too easily judged villains.
I will say, after 40+ years of saying “what about,” I’m starting to come to the realization I think, that given the diversity of American culture and need for instant gratification and judgment, nuance and curiosity is never going to be our society’s strong suit. They just don’t jive with a social media obsessed environment. But I’m grateful to be able to come to this podcast and not feel alone in my “thinking too much thoughts.” 😀
Once again Sarah has distilled an ugly, sprawling mess into something loaded with pathos and wit. Early in the piece the line “memes of smug reduction” thrilled and soothed me. Thank you to Sarah for once again taking the time to deep dive and puzzle things out for us lucky readers. That elusive flash of recognition is strong in her work.
The complexities of this case are perfectly examined: Depp, Heard, their back stories, their relationship, their alcohol use and intoxicated behavior, #metoo movement, the public’s affinity for Depp…
I didn't realize there were so many women there in support of Johnny Depp. This piece of news is nowhere to be seen in legacy media post-verdict reports on this. They made it seem like it was heavily men supporting Depp.
Well done, Sarah. This is a wonderful piece. I must confess that I didn’t follow this trial at all but You’ve personalized this in a way that gave me a feel for what it was like to be there.
Dang. Such a deep piece. Insight in every paragraph. “Hollywood isnt royalty, its a religion.” Wow. Yes. You could write a whole essay on just that idea.
I am a psychologist and from all I have observed the borderline personality diagnosis is right on. She has at least 8 of 9 symptoms, maybe even 9 of 9 because she is getting meds against psychosis as well. Only 5 symptoms are necessary to meet the diagnosis. You could say from what we learned about her behavior (the tapes are very helpful) and how the relationship developed from love-bombing to court trial, it is a textbook case of borderline personality disorder. I think she believes she was abused by him. For people with BPD being abandoned or believing they might be abandoned is the biggest fear. They feel so strongly about it that the pain they feel when their partner splits or leaves them (even if only temporarily) is as intense as physical pain. I am sure she felt physical pain and felt abused when he left the penthouse but not because he was hitting her. If you know that detail it all makes sense. People with BPD also lose control and can become violent (a symptom) because their emotions fluctuate hugely (a symptom) and they can not regulate them. (a symptom) She seemed to drink a lot of wine, (a symptm) which does not help with that either. She idolized him in the beginning (a symptom) and imitated his interests (a symptom) For him it felt like he was falling in love with himself. When he began to disappoint her which will always happen, the idolization changed into total depreciation (a symptom). He couldn't do anything right. Her mood fluctuated abnormally. (a symptom) When she became upset, she “loses” it. (a symptom). He leaves when she becomes violent, which confirms her worst fear and makes her madder instead of calming her down (a symptom). He gets away to calm down and not be hit/punched. That's what he learned at home by observing his dad. He stays with her for years because he thought he could help her and because he thought the person who loves you can also abuse you. (his mom) and does what he and his dad did (not hit back, go to his room to get out of the line of fire and play his guitar) His dad didn't leave his mom either until he was 15. Logical he stayed. He probably also believed for quite a while that if he did the ‘right thing’, he could win back the bliss from the beginning. BPD makes people behave so irrationally that I totally understand why he thought that splitting would make her and him calm down and if he behaved like in the beginning of the relationship she would be the same perfect partner. It just did not work because he did not know what he was up against and his coping style was drinking and drugs he said himself. The only positives are that they got away from each other before it got even worse and that they didn't have a child.
I actually thought the kitchen cabinet video was really good proof that he didn't hit her when he was drunk and upset. All he did was throw her Ipad in the trash and say ,’Good bye, I have to go.’ If he had a habit of slapping her, this would have been the time. Instead she pulled the Ipad out of the trash, filmed herself smiling sheepishly and sent the video to TMZ. By her reaction you could see that he had never hit her before in situations like this.
She was not scared of him at all. If you are living with an abuser who is drunk and violent, would you stand next to him and film him, knowing this would make him madder or would you stay as far away as possible (not in the same room and not doing something to provoke him)? The whole relationship is not that difficult to figure out. He is not a hitter. He splits. She never accused him of hitting her only of always splitting. She said,’You split even when there is no physical fight.’ I have never heard of a person who likes to hit or throw things at other people, running away. This does not make sense at all.
The kitchen cabinet video was not after the San Francisco meeting because in the kitchen video she had just gotten out of bed (their bed) while he had been awake, drinking and smashing the cabinets upset about the missing $600 millions. They did not get together again after the SF meeting as you stated correctly
This piece was recommended by Helen Lewis in her Blue Stocking newsletter. Absolutely magnificent writing.
My thanks to you, and Helen Lewis, and blue stockings, of which I approve. --SH
Heard you on the Meghan Daum show. One of the best interviews on a great show, looking forward to reading your book.
Thank you! Meghan and I just re-recorded *another* episode of "The Unspeakable" together, which should be posting in about a week or so. I love trying to make sense of the world with her. -- SH
I'd have known next to nothing about Depp-Heard except for the "Smoke 'em" episodes, some of them heard more than once. And as I started to read this (50 minute read says Substack!) I wondered what I'd learn that I didn't already know. Well. This is such a good distillation of your coverage and discussion, with deep dives into back stories that were hinted at in the podcasts. So many good lines; an early one stood out for me:
-- “You can’t say that” tends to lay the tracks for “People are going to say that, with delight.”
I'm sure you'll discuss this piece on a future podcast. This deserves to be read widely. So well done, thank you.
“...the jury read what had to be the worst review of her life.” This felt like a obvious but still classically clever journalist line. If that makes sense.
“Her empowerment was ghostwritten.” Love this line. Captures the sad irony of ACLU writing that op-ed.
This piece does a fantastic job of capturing the deep and vast complexity of everything the Heard/Depp reflects about society right now. Celebrity worship, the influence of trauma (sorry Nancy) on how we choose lovers, the often over correcting blindness of #MeToo (not to mention other woke campaigns), and the inability to give grace to the oh too easily judged villains.
I will say, after 40+ years of saying “what about,” I’m starting to come to the realization I think, that given the diversity of American culture and need for instant gratification and judgment, nuance and curiosity is never going to be our society’s strong suit. They just don’t jive with a social media obsessed environment. But I’m grateful to be able to come to this podcast and not feel alone in my “thinking too much thoughts.” 😀
Once again Sarah has distilled an ugly, sprawling mess into something loaded with pathos and wit. Early in the piece the line “memes of smug reduction” thrilled and soothed me. Thank you to Sarah for once again taking the time to deep dive and puzzle things out for us lucky readers. That elusive flash of recognition is strong in her work.
The complexities of this case are perfectly examined: Depp, Heard, their back stories, their relationship, their alcohol use and intoxicated behavior, #metoo movement, the public’s affinity for Depp…
I didn't realize there were so many women there in support of Johnny Depp. This piece of news is nowhere to be seen in legacy media post-verdict reports on this. They made it seem like it was heavily men supporting Depp.
Well done, Sarah. This is a wonderful piece. I must confess that I didn’t follow this trial at all but You’ve personalized this in a way that gave me a feel for what it was like to be there.
Thanks.
It’s a rare thing to see a piece like this treat every participant with kindness. Excellent journalism.
Dang. Such a deep piece. Insight in every paragraph. “Hollywood isnt royalty, its a religion.” Wow. Yes. You could write a whole essay on just that idea.
Wonderful piece. It's clear you took a great amount of time with it. Thanks for sharing with us!
I have so many thoughts and so many parts I loved and I’m also absolutely speechless. This was an incredible piece. A joy to read. Thank you.
Will be curious to hear what you think of the juror’s interview on GMA.
I feel weird writing “me too”…I concur!
I am a psychologist and from all I have observed the borderline personality diagnosis is right on. She has at least 8 of 9 symptoms, maybe even 9 of 9 because she is getting meds against psychosis as well. Only 5 symptoms are necessary to meet the diagnosis. You could say from what we learned about her behavior (the tapes are very helpful) and how the relationship developed from love-bombing to court trial, it is a textbook case of borderline personality disorder. I think she believes she was abused by him. For people with BPD being abandoned or believing they might be abandoned is the biggest fear. They feel so strongly about it that the pain they feel when their partner splits or leaves them (even if only temporarily) is as intense as physical pain. I am sure she felt physical pain and felt abused when he left the penthouse but not because he was hitting her. If you know that detail it all makes sense. People with BPD also lose control and can become violent (a symptom) because their emotions fluctuate hugely (a symptom) and they can not regulate them. (a symptom) She seemed to drink a lot of wine, (a symptm) which does not help with that either. She idolized him in the beginning (a symptom) and imitated his interests (a symptom) For him it felt like he was falling in love with himself. When he began to disappoint her which will always happen, the idolization changed into total depreciation (a symptom). He couldn't do anything right. Her mood fluctuated abnormally. (a symptom) When she became upset, she “loses” it. (a symptom). He leaves when she becomes violent, which confirms her worst fear and makes her madder instead of calming her down (a symptom). He gets away to calm down and not be hit/punched. That's what he learned at home by observing his dad. He stays with her for years because he thought he could help her and because he thought the person who loves you can also abuse you. (his mom) and does what he and his dad did (not hit back, go to his room to get out of the line of fire and play his guitar) His dad didn't leave his mom either until he was 15. Logical he stayed. He probably also believed for quite a while that if he did the ‘right thing’, he could win back the bliss from the beginning. BPD makes people behave so irrationally that I totally understand why he thought that splitting would make her and him calm down and if he behaved like in the beginning of the relationship she would be the same perfect partner. It just did not work because he did not know what he was up against and his coping style was drinking and drugs he said himself. The only positives are that they got away from each other before it got even worse and that they didn't have a child.
I actually thought the kitchen cabinet video was really good proof that he didn't hit her when he was drunk and upset. All he did was throw her Ipad in the trash and say ,’Good bye, I have to go.’ If he had a habit of slapping her, this would have been the time. Instead she pulled the Ipad out of the trash, filmed herself smiling sheepishly and sent the video to TMZ. By her reaction you could see that he had never hit her before in situations like this.
She was not scared of him at all. If you are living with an abuser who is drunk and violent, would you stand next to him and film him, knowing this would make him madder or would you stay as far away as possible (not in the same room and not doing something to provoke him)? The whole relationship is not that difficult to figure out. He is not a hitter. He splits. She never accused him of hitting her only of always splitting. She said,’You split even when there is no physical fight.’ I have never heard of a person who likes to hit or throw things at other people, running away. This does not make sense at all.
The kitchen cabinet video was not after the San Francisco meeting because in the kitchen video she had just gotten out of bed (their bed) while he had been awake, drinking and smashing the cabinets upset about the missing $600 millions. They did not get together again after the SF meeting as you stated correctly