Smoking Diaries #3: New Year's Resolutions

My favorite picture of Tom Waits, who got sober the Nineties. I’m sure he eventually quit smoking, too. The man whose entire back catalogue is about falling off barstools is probably vegan and gluten-free. (Have you seen how good he looks?) Anyway, Tom Waits is one story about hitting the same note until you don’t anymore. This is mine.

I used to say quitting drinking was easy — I did it every Monday. Years later, I discovered this was a famous line Mark Twain used about smoking, and I’m not sure if that means I’d accidentally plagiarized one of the 20th-century’s greatest storytellers (wouldn’t be the first time) or that I am my generation’s Mark Twain (unlikely). Probably it means when you’re stuck in the revolving door of a habit you’re trying to break, “quitting” becomes a very elusive word, and self-deprecating humor is a good way to salve the frustration.

I did quit drinking eventually, in 2010.* It changed my life in many ways, one being that New Year’s resolutions never had to include “Get sober” or “Stop drinking like an idiot.” If drinking is still your dragon to slay, I’ve included some essay links in the show notes that might be useful. These days, I’ve moved on to other dragons.

I still smoke cigarettes, as this voice memo proves, though in my defense, I only picked it up about a year ago after a decade of being quit, which makes one wonder what “quit” actually means. I know smoking is a bad look — except that it’s terribly decadent and glamorous — but it’s also not a problem I plan to tackle today. So forgive me, and pity me, as I sit on the couch of my patio, strung with Christmas lights, fumbling with a lighter in the dark of 4am. I’ve got some thoughts to share on addiction, behavioral change, why Nancy is a good call for a low morning, and my own resolution for 2023.

The new year is upon us, friends, whether we voted it for it or not.