Smoking Diary #14: We Change, But We Never Change

Sarah going to senior prom by herself. She is bound and determined to fit into this dress again, even if it takes till she’s shriveled and tiny.

by Sarah Hepola

It’s 3:49am on a Saturday, and your narrator has reached peak ramble: Who invented the car? Does anyone have stats on Death by Wagon Wheel? Her thoughts on change — how it never happens, how it inevitably happens — lead to a story about the high school boyfriend who helped her become the happier, more secure, more coveted young woman she wanted to be. But this led to temptation (his name was Rob), and our teenage love story ends in teenage drama.

Why do people want what they can’t have? Does love change people, or is that a recipe for disappointment? We talk jealousy, the obsession of crushes, nice guys versus dangerous ones, and the part of your narrator that always seems to hunger for more. See, we change, but we don’t change. Come ramble along as we try to understand this paradox. And happy Passover, happy Easter, happy spring.