Introducing a new feature, a Wednesday open thread! Talk amongst yourselves this week about: What physical “imperfection[s]” you like in others and/or yourself. (Hint to Sarah’s answer can be found in the photo of Vanessa Paradis, above.)
A beautician taught me the vertical wrinkles between the eyebrows are called "the elevens," and mine have been pretty prominent for a while. (Even when I was in my 20s, people would be like, "What's wrong? You look upset." And I was like, "Nothing, it's literally my face!") -- SH
I love 'features' that are not symmetrical, where the left doesn't quite match the right.
I think I obsess because I have one ear that sticks out, and one that does not. I was teased when younger that in a strong wind I must have to tack to the left and right to cut through it. ha!
Over time I came to appreciate it and just love it when I discover those things in others. The eyes especially.
Accents are (obviously) not imperfections but sometimes people wish they didn't have them in order to better blend in with a larger culture. They can be quite charming.
Love hearing the way Slate's June Thomas pronounces "book". (bewk)
Worked with a delightful lady who, as much as she tried, could not say "TD Bank" without it sounding like "titty bank".
I like this idea. Sometimes I want to leave a comment that doesn't pertain to any one podcast. ... I finished reading (audio version) "Trailed" -- well worth it and that prompted re-listening to the podcast with the author. I also re-listened to "Wild" by Cheryl Strayed (another author mentioned on a very early Smoke 'Em. I'd heard it many years ago and had forgotten many details; it's even wilder than I remembered.
Aug 24, 2022·edited Aug 24, 2022Liked by Smoke 'Em If You Got 'Em
I just read Laura Kipnis’. Unwanted Advances, all about the overreach of Title IX in academia, and was really excited to see Blackout quoted several times in her chapter about “why is this all happening?!” (partial answer: binge drinking). If anyone’s up for a short but infuriating read, I recommend it!
Having read "Blackout" and heard all the Smoke 'Em podcasts that discuss it, it seems that the blackout phenomenon is under-reported and under-appreciated; I think it explains a lot. I sometimes wonder how I got to my age without ever hearing about it (or maybe I wasn't paying attention - always possible.)
Yes, it's a great read, and I was excited to find those passages, too. Laura's tale of getting dragged through the bizarre Title IX system of justice is really eye-opening.
So any other imperfections people find attractive? I once dated a guy who had shiny brown hair and a white stripe in the front. It was hot. Later learned it’s a poliosis. An unsexy name for a sexy feature. (Bonnie Raitt anyone?)
Oooh, yes, my mother had this! She had this long glossy black hair and one streak of white in front, I think it's very chic too. Never knew the name for it. -- SH
I've watched 5 of the 6 episodes of "The Last Movie Stars", will watch the final this evening. I likely would not have seen this except for "Smoke 'Em", so thanks for the reference; it was an impetus for getting a subscription to HBO Max.
I knew they had been married for a very long time; I knew Paul Newman from "Butch Cassidy" and "The Sting", but I hadn't known about the family or the conflicts (though not really surprised), and I'm surprised to realize how few of their films I've actually seen, besides the one's I've already mentioned. I hadn't realized the connections that some of their films had to their own conflicts and difficulties, as I don't generally follow what celebrities are doing. There were times during this that it felt like TMI -- too much information.
And I've been seeing Paul Newman's name in the grocery store for decades, too.
I've appreciated this series in particular for learning much more about Joanne Woodward than I previously knew. This makes me want to see more of her films. I did see "A Kiss Before Dying" recently -- pretty good. I will seek out more of her work.
I appreciated seeing the interviews with their children -- I can't imagine what it would be like to grow up with two famous parents like that.
Smoke 'Em keeps introducing me to things I would not have found on my own, which includes, at least, "The Bear", "Reservoir Dogs", this series, and a few older movies that I've not seen for one reason for another. Thank you!
The HBO Max subscription also gets me watching the "Station Eleven" series -- a favorite book. I heard that the TV series makes some changes -- I'm only 3 episodes in so far. I think this TV series would be pretty confusing if you had not already read the book. The changes I've seen so far make sense to me. I am looking forward to the rest of it.
You don’t have to preorder if you want the kindle version, I read it a few weeks ago. I had already preordered so I’ll get the paperback too. She is saying things I was saying 10 years ago when the Overton window was firmly closed to them.
ears that stick out. Crooked teeth (more on women than men) especially big bucked and rotated front teeth -- Dentists call this a "butterfly". Kate Moss, Felicity Jones and Kristen Stewart have this... I did too once before they got "fixed". I've regretted that damn fix for 20 years.
I have always been most attracted to people who are a little round or soft and who I think like to eat. I like cooking. (I liked it a lot more it before I got the three pickiest kids ever. I am hoping that when they eventually move out that I will find that love again.) In Spanish class in college we were asked to talk about what we were looking for in a boyfriend/girlfriend and my partner in this exercise and dear friend, Lauren, who knew me well, asked, "How do you say 'weight-gain potential' in Spanish?"
I think I got so far down the rabbit hole of beauty standards that I now think all humans are ugly. When I see someone who is considered attractive, I either wrinkle my nose or pick out their flaws and enumerate them in great detail in my head. There is a not-small subset of men who can only be aroused by cartoon images (eg anime type with breasts the size of watermelons and eyes that take up a third of their faces) for this very reason.
I’m working on a feature story and I just can’t get people to talk to me. It’s not even a controversial subject, I’m just having bad luck with people returning my emails. The people I’m contacting are in Georgia (the country) and Armenia but their websites and Facebook pages have some English language posts.
It’s just going nowhere :( , it’s about the Yezidi diaspora in the Caucasus. It’s hard not to just put it on a backburner and not work on it anymore.
This has happened to me before. What I've found is that you just keep knocking on doors and finally one opens and it's like: Eureka, the best feeling. I might recommend semi-backburner-ing it, so you're not investing all your time, but still continuing to reach out, because in my experience, something gives eventually. Good luck out there.
Crow's feet, tooth gaps, the vertical wrinkles between eyebrows.
A beautician taught me the vertical wrinkles between the eyebrows are called "the elevens," and mine have been pretty prominent for a while. (Even when I was in my 20s, people would be like, "What's wrong? You look upset." And I was like, "Nothing, it's literally my face!") -- SH
It's a look of perpetual consternation and I'm here for it. It's mysterious, somehow ;)
...and you also have crow's feet, which I have too, and which I think of as a resting smile.
Gap in her front teeth ? One of my sons has that women love him
My husband has a gap between his front teeth- it is the most charming, handsome thing in the world!
I also love a man with big strong hands, and the collarbones of women, and men's arms ( well, Ok, just about everything about a man!)
Nancy's clavicles!!! Aspirational. Not that I'm being creepy or anything. Not that it's a flaw, either. Okay, I'll stop talking now.
Ha! Love it
I love 'features' that are not symmetrical, where the left doesn't quite match the right.
I think I obsess because I have one ear that sticks out, and one that does not. I was teased when younger that in a strong wind I must have to tack to the left and right to cut through it. ha!
Over time I came to appreciate it and just love it when I discover those things in others. The eyes especially.
I love freckles.
Accents are (obviously) not imperfections but sometimes people wish they didn't have them in order to better blend in with a larger culture. They can be quite charming.
Love hearing the way Slate's June Thomas pronounces "book". (bewk)
Worked with a delightful lady who, as much as she tried, could not say "TD Bank" without it sounding like "titty bank".
Ha! That last is good
Haha!
I like this idea. Sometimes I want to leave a comment that doesn't pertain to any one podcast. ... I finished reading (audio version) "Trailed" -- well worth it and that prompted re-listening to the podcast with the author. I also re-listened to "Wild" by Cheryl Strayed (another author mentioned on a very early Smoke 'Em. I'd heard it many years ago and had forgotten many details; it's even wilder than I remembered.
I just read Laura Kipnis’. Unwanted Advances, all about the overreach of Title IX in academia, and was really excited to see Blackout quoted several times in her chapter about “why is this all happening?!” (partial answer: binge drinking). If anyone’s up for a short but infuriating read, I recommend it!
Having read "Blackout" and heard all the Smoke 'Em podcasts that discuss it, it seems that the blackout phenomenon is under-reported and under-appreciated; I think it explains a lot. I sometimes wonder how I got to my age without ever hearing about it (or maybe I wasn't paying attention - always possible.)
Yes, it's a great read, and I was excited to find those passages, too. Laura's tale of getting dragged through the bizarre Title IX system of justice is really eye-opening.
So any other imperfections people find attractive? I once dated a guy who had shiny brown hair and a white stripe in the front. It was hot. Later learned it’s a poliosis. An unsexy name for a sexy feature. (Bonnie Raitt anyone?)
Oooh, yes, my mother had this! She had this long glossy black hair and one streak of white in front, I think it's very chic too. Never knew the name for it. -- SH
Cool !!
I've watched 5 of the 6 episodes of "The Last Movie Stars", will watch the final this evening. I likely would not have seen this except for "Smoke 'Em", so thanks for the reference; it was an impetus for getting a subscription to HBO Max.
I knew they had been married for a very long time; I knew Paul Newman from "Butch Cassidy" and "The Sting", but I hadn't known about the family or the conflicts (though not really surprised), and I'm surprised to realize how few of their films I've actually seen, besides the one's I've already mentioned. I hadn't realized the connections that some of their films had to their own conflicts and difficulties, as I don't generally follow what celebrities are doing. There were times during this that it felt like TMI -- too much information.
And I've been seeing Paul Newman's name in the grocery store for decades, too.
I've appreciated this series in particular for learning much more about Joanne Woodward than I previously knew. This makes me want to see more of her films. I did see "A Kiss Before Dying" recently -- pretty good. I will seek out more of her work.
I appreciated seeing the interviews with their children -- I can't imagine what it would be like to grow up with two famous parents like that.
Smoke 'Em keeps introducing me to things I would not have found on my own, which includes, at least, "The Bear", "Reservoir Dogs", this series, and a few older movies that I've not seen for one reason for another. Thank you!
The HBO Max subscription also gets me watching the "Station Eleven" series -- a favorite book. I heard that the TV series makes some changes -- I'm only 3 episodes in so far. I think this TV series would be pretty confusing if you had not already read the book. The changes I've seen so far make sense to me. I am looking forward to the rest of it.
Joanne Woodward was the big revelation for me, I knew so little about her work or her personality. I love that she used to knit on talk shows.
Anybody else pre-ordering the Louise Perry book about the sexual revolution?
You don’t have to preorder if you want the kindle version, I read it a few weeks ago. I had already preordered so I’ll get the paperback too. She is saying things I was saying 10 years ago when the Overton window was firmly closed to them.
I saw that, thanks Nicole! I'm excited to read it! Her media appearances are really good.
ears that stick out. Crooked teeth (more on women than men) especially big bucked and rotated front teeth -- Dentists call this a "butterfly". Kate Moss, Felicity Jones and Kristen Stewart have this... I did too once before they got "fixed". I've regretted that damn fix for 20 years.
I have always been most attracted to people who are a little round or soft and who I think like to eat. I like cooking. (I liked it a lot more it before I got the three pickiest kids ever. I am hoping that when they eventually move out that I will find that love again.) In Spanish class in college we were asked to talk about what we were looking for in a boyfriend/girlfriend and my partner in this exercise and dear friend, Lauren, who knew me well, asked, "How do you say 'weight-gain potential' in Spanish?"
I think I got so far down the rabbit hole of beauty standards that I now think all humans are ugly. When I see someone who is considered attractive, I either wrinkle my nose or pick out their flaws and enumerate them in great detail in my head. There is a not-small subset of men who can only be aroused by cartoon images (eg anime type with breasts the size of watermelons and eyes that take up a third of their faces) for this very reason.
I’m working on a feature story and I just can’t get people to talk to me. It’s not even a controversial subject, I’m just having bad luck with people returning my emails. The people I’m contacting are in Georgia (the country) and Armenia but their websites and Facebook pages have some English language posts.
It’s just going nowhere :( , it’s about the Yezidi diaspora in the Caucasus. It’s hard not to just put it on a backburner and not work on it anymore.
This has happened to me before. What I've found is that you just keep knocking on doors and finally one opens and it's like: Eureka, the best feeling. I might recommend semi-backburner-ing it, so you're not investing all your time, but still continuing to reach out, because in my experience, something gives eventually. Good luck out there.